You Have To Be Joking!
by redxcliches
Summary: OCGeW story. Laurie is left by her parents to live out her summer holiday in Diagon Alley with her aunt. But when her aunt leaves but never comes back, what's a girl to do?
1. Chapter 1

**You Have To Be Joking!**

**Chapter One**

Disclaimer:I obviously own nothing related to Harry Potter, so you can have faith in me.

* * *

"What the hell!" I yelled. Well, you would too if you had just stepped on a patch of blue scum that made your feet stick directly to the ground. I had just decided to take a walk through Diagon Alley on a warm summer afternoon when I thought a visit to the new joke shop would be interesting. Obviously, it was interesting.

I could see a group of teens laughing and pointing at me as I struggled to unstick my feet, which made me even more upset about the whole thing.

Just then, a red haired boy came cantering down the short flight of stairs with the look of amusement on his face. I shot a glaring look at him.

"Sorry miss, let me get you out of there." said the boy as he took out his wand, and after a wave, was able to unstick me from the messy patch. "Great joke, huh? It's the new 'Sticky Mess' for any quick distraction."

"Sorry, but it isn't great when your the one stuck." I said, sweeping my long bangs out of my face. "And you are..."

"George, George Weasley. I own the shop." he said, putting out his hand. "And you?"

"Laurie. Laurie Enders" I said, before taking his hand. "So this is your shop I'm guessing." I said, letting go and looking at the building. You could say it popped out like a sore thumb amid the old and worn shops surrounding it. With brightly lit signs and the many people milling about outside it, it would be amazing if no one would notice it while passing by.

"Yep. Me and my brother just opened it last year after leaving school" he said.

"My brother and I..." I mumbled under my breath.

"Come again?"

"Oh, nothing"

"Well," he said, rubbing the back of his neck "I have to go back in. But come visit anytime."

"I will!" I said as he ran back up the stairs, tripping on the top one. I laughed. He was a funny one. And a cutie at that.

* * *

It was nice spending my summer holiday in Diagon Alley. My family was originally living in Surrey, but I was able to convince them to let me live at my Auntie Deb's flat for the summer. She was one of those 'cool adults' as you would call it. Only being 29, she always bought me nice clothes at Christmas time and my birthday.

And it wasn't like she didn't have the room for me. The bedroom was small, but it had a window that looked right out into the street and the people milling below. So I always woke at a reasonable time, like my parent's wanted me too.

It was a relief from my parents, if anything. I loved them of course, but they would just get a little too worried about me. One time I didn't come home for dinner on time, and they had a crew of muggle police wandering the streets looking for me. And whenever I would get something as simple as a splinter as a child, they would fuss for hours on end, wanting me to get shots just in case it was infected.

Waking up that morning, I could smell my Aunties perfume waft into my room as she brought some tea in for me to drink.

"Morning sweetie!" she sang to me, setting the tea on my bedside table. "I won't be able to take you to outside London today, I have a meeting. Will you be okay on your own?"

Sitting up in bed, I squinted at the morning sunshine streaming through my room.

"Of course." I said, taking my cup of tea. "When will you be back?" I asked.

"To be honest, I don't know!" she said. "They said I may even be out for afew days. But seeing that you're 17, I think you'll be fine, don't you?"

I was shocked, excited, and surprised. Was she serious? Leaving me alone in Diagon Alley for more than a few days? This meant party. Well, not real parties. I never really liked them. The last one I experienced was about two years ago and lets just say I drank about a bottle of bubbly before passing out in my friend Allie's bed.

"Sure."

* * *

To be honest, I didn't leave the house until the next day.

After throwing on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and putting my wavy brown hair into a ponytail, I walked out of the building into the overcast day. Looking up, the sky was an awful gray, but I didn't mind as I headed down the street.

After window shopping at Madame Makins Robes and taking a browse through Purity Candies, I decided to take a look at Weasley Wizard Wheezes. The sign said 'closed' but I decided it would be okay to peer in the windows of the shop. It seemed to be filled to the brim with various bottles and jars and cases and boxes of tricks and teasers. All the way in the back was a long counter with a register, where the red haired boy from the other day seemed to be counting up profits. He looked up from his papers to spot me peeking through the window. Getting up from the counter, he came to the door and unlocked the latch.

"So Laurie, decided to come back?" he asked, opening the door and inviting me in.

"Sorry for interrupting you. I was just looking through the window." I said, looking at all the shelves filled with stuff. Surprisingly, it was all organized.

"No problem, I was wondering when you were coming back." he said. "I've seen you walk by a lot, do your parents just leave you here to spend your days wandering aimlessly?"

I laughed. "No, I'm living at my auntie's house over the summer. My parent's would never let me out every day."

"Really strict?"

I nodded. "I'm not surprised they put me in a plastic bubble."

He laughed.

"Well, would you like a look around?" he asked.

"Why not."

* * *

I could tell why he opened a joke shop, for it was impossible for me to keep a straight face he had me laughing so much. He showed me around hours ago, and it was getting dark outside as the shoppers began to end their day.

I looked at my watch.

"I'm sorry, but I do have to go." I said.

"Oh, well I'll see you some other time then?" he asked me.

"Of course." I said, walking towards the door. "Bye!"

"Adios!"

* * *

I decided to make this out of a whim. I hoped you liked it though and that the first chapter wasn't too boring. Please review and tell me what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

**Disclaimer: **For some strange reason, I don't own Harry Potter or any of it's characters that you recognize. But I do own the plot and the characters I created.

* * *

"Laurie, Laurie!" the girl in the yellow dress called to me. "Come out and play!" She then ran through the fields, leaping over the tall grass and plucking the purple flowers growing untamed at random.

"I'm coming!" I yelled, following her. "Wait up Rose!"

Someone was shaking my shoulder.

* * *

I woke up instantly. It was just another dream of mine. Rose was my older cousin, now one of the Death Eaters still loyal to Voldemort.

"Laurie, wake up." someone was saying to me. Turning over, I looked up to see a man, slightly tattered with graying dark hair. I almost screamed, seeing that there was a man standing over my bed at about 2 in the morning.

"My name's Remus Lupin." he said, walking over to my door and grabbing my suitcase. "Pack your things, there isn't much time." He placed it on my bed.

"Wait, what?" I said, sitting up. Not enough time for what? Packing my things? Was I leaving? What the hell?

"I'll have to answer your questions later, just grab your things and we'll tell you once in a safer place." he said, going to the doorway. "I can only give you ten minutes." he said before walking out and closing the door.

I stood dumbfounded for about a minute until I decided to get up and dress. Throwing on a pair of jeans and leaving on my tanktop, I threw on my robe currently over my chair and started throwing things haphazardly into my suitcase. Clothes, paper, quills, ink, a book, pictures, camera, hair stuff, my jewlery box...

He knocked before entering.

"Are you all set?" he asked. I nodded.

"Okay, let's go."

* * *

Wandering through the streets of London was much more creepier when you couldn't hear a sound. I mean, the nightlife is just not for me.

I don't know how far we walked, it could've been miles. I began to grow wearier and wearier by the moment.

We finally came to a stop at one of the older areas of the city. Handing me a paper, Lupin said "Read this and memorize what you just read."

_...Number 12...London...what?_

Slowly, a house began to emerge between a small gap in the houses beside it, which didn't seem to be disturbed by what just happened.

Walking towards the door, he turned the nob and I closed my eyes for a second, not knowing what would be inside.

* * *

I only had one word for the house. Strange.

Along the stairwell were house elf heads all lined up in a row, looking relatively the same. Like a family. On another wall there was a huge curtain with a pull, possibly covering up a picture. And the entire place just seemed like a refurbished cellar.

Lupin brought me into one of the side rooms, where a large tapestry hung on one wall. A family tree of some sort.

"Just wait right here." he said to me, before leaving me in a chair by a low fire.

All I did was gaze around. How did this guy know my name? What in God's name was going on?

I could hear a clunking sound coming down the hallway, like someone had a bad limp or a peg leg of some sort. Turing towards the doorway, another man entered who I actually recognized. My auntie invited him over to dinner a few times. It was "Mad Eye" Moody.

"Hi, Mr. Moody. What's going on? Where's my aunt?"

He walked over to a chair across from me, sitting down before beginning.

"Your aunt is missing, as well as your parents."

"Wait...what? Why?"

My parents and my aunt, gone? Seriously, was this a joke?

"Let me start from the beginning, it's the only way you'll understand."

* * *

_Order of the Pheonix_

_Voldemort._

_Parents and Aunt gone._

Stuck in a strange house with people I didn't know.

I don't know how long I stayed in my bed on the second floor. Days, maybe even a whole week considering my state. My hair was greasy, my face breaking out, and I hadn't showered in awhile either. I was a mess.

"Dear," a woman's voice said, slightly rapping on the already open door. "I thought you might be hungry seeing you never came down."

A short woman entered my room, carrying a tray with sandwiches and tea and juice. Sitting up, she placed the tray on my lap.

"I'm Molly Weasley, one of the Order." she said, pulling up a chair by my bedside.

"I've met a Weasley, down in Diagon Alley. His name was George." I said, picking up a sandwich and taking a huge chunk out of it.

"Oh, George!" she said, a smile coming to her face. "That's my son. Are you two friends?"

"In a way, yes." I said, my mouth filled with turkey and cheese.

"Well, I hope he hasn't been too rude to you. Always joking around, him and Fred."

"Who?"

"His twin, Fred." she said, patting her hair back. "Those two had been getting into trouble all their lives, no wonder they opened a joke shop. I was hoping for better, but I can't really determine that now can I?"

I shook my head.

"Well," she said, getting up. "After you're done you can clean yourself up and I'll have some fresh clothes for you, alright dear?"

I nodded. Not much of a talker, am I?

"And afterwards, I'll see about George coming over later. He'll be delighted."

Walking out, she closed the door behind her.

Yes, but would I?

* * *

Ehh, very boring chapter, I know. Just trying to get the plot moving along! Remember to review review review!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**Disclaimer: **I own the Harry Potter books and characters in my fantasies.

* * *

Finally showering and putting on a pair of jeans and a green shirt, I brushed my hair and gazed at my reflection in the old and tarnished mirror. My eyes, a peircing blue, always looked cold and uninviting. And my dark medium length hair always contrasted against my pale skin. People always said, "You don't look Irish, but I can tell you're Russian." and I would always have to correct them becaues Belorusian is different from Russian.

Weirdo.

"Hey Laurie." a familiar voice said from the doorway. I turned around and saw that it was George, looking really different wearing just muggle clothes. Well, not really. He still had his messy red hair. But other than that, I was used to seeing him with...umm...robes?

"Hey George." I said unenthusiastically. "How's it going?"

"Okay I guess." he said, coming into the room. "But how are you?"

I took a breath, "Fine. Just dealing with it."

"I know it's really cliche, but I'm sorry for what happened to your aunt and parents. I wouldn't be able to deal with it like you can." Wow. That's a lot he said in one breath.

"Thanks." And then there's me, horrible at complements and sincerity.

* * *

George and I cantered down the stairs to the living room to see who came visiting. He told be about Black's mother and her portrait that hated houseguests. The only person she liked was the house elf Kreacher, who would appear and then dissapear for weeks at a time. Lets just say he didn't keep the house clean like expected.

A spiky haired woman seemed to have knocked over the silver vase that was close by the doorway.

"Damn! I'm so sorry!" she yelled over the shreiking portrait as Mrs. Weasley rushed to pull close the curtains. It was finally silent, but the curtains were still ruffling madly.

"It's fine dear, it's fine." Said Mrs. Weasley as she helped her up off the floor. The woman looked up to see George and I.

"Oh, looks like you have a new guest. Who is she?"

"That's Laurie. Laurie Enders. You knew her aunt Deborah. She's staying with us for awhile."

"Oh, well nice to meet you." she said, coming to shake my hand. "I'm Nymphadora, but just call me Tonks please. I'm usually the one that knocks over everything in this house, considering how clumsy I am. I can't believe they let me be an auror with the fact-"

"Nymphadora, why don't you come with me?" Asked Mrs. Weasley.

"Sure sure. Nice to meet you."

We decended the final flights of stairs to the hallway and walked into a drawing room dominated by a large tapestry. Inside was a cluster of old and worn but clean furniture and a fading rug covering the entire floor.

"Wow, nice room." I said, walking inside and looking up at the high ceiling. "It's huge."

"You must live in a pretty small place." said George.

"Got that right." I said while giving him a smirk. I walked over to one of the couches and flopped down to be greeted with a cloud of dust fuming from the cusions. George then came over also and sat next to me, creating an identical cloud.

"Mum told me what happened. I'm really sorry about your aunt and parents."

"Oh, yeah." I said, looking down. Thanks George, bring it up and make me upset all over again. Good job. "Well, you never know. I'm keeping hope that they'll show up somewhere."

* * *

"Come on, we have to get out of this house." said George, pulling on my arm. We had been there for awhile. Okay, more than a long while. It had been over a week since he came and all we did was eat, play chess, and talk to all the people that came in and out of the house. Yeah, it was mostly my fault, not wanting to leave the house and moping around the whole time.

"Where would we go?" I asked him.

"Um, I don't know." he said sarcastically. "Let's start with _outside._"

"Okay okay." I got up off the couch that I had been vegging out on for the last hour and grabbed my coat off the rack. Checking that there was money in my pocket, I put my hair into a low ponytail.

"Where to?" I asked.

"Leaky Cauldron."

It only took a moment for us to both Apparate to the old bar my aunt would take me to on occasion so we could get out into the muggle world, where I bought a bunch of my clothes at the department stores there.

"Wanna get something while we're here?" he asked me. "Firewhisky, beer, hard liquor?" I could see a grin forming on his face.

"You loser." I said, punching him in the shoulder. "You know I don't drink anything cheap and local. It's just not good enough for me."

"No, seriously." he said. "Do you want anything?"

"No, I'm fine." I smiled at the gesture. I liked it when he smiled, it made him such a cute looking guy. Finally leaving the smoky barroom, we made it to the brick wall where George tapped a few rocks and opened the portal.

"Are we heading anywhere specific?" I asked as we weaved are way through the crowds of people milling about and wandering in and out of shops.

"Hmm, I could go for ice-cream." he said. "Want to go to the parlor place?"

"Surely."

"Don't call me Shirley." he said, making me laugh.

I think it was the best ice cream I ever had, seeing that we couldn't keep a straight face the entire time. George kept throwing me joke after joke, making me laugh and look like a complete fool.

"George, if you don't stop, I'll have to hurt you." I said.

"You can't hurt me, I'm too fly."

Taking my ice cream cone, I licked it seductively.

"Mmmm."

"That's not doing anything Lucy, it's just turning me on."

"Exactly." I said, stopping. "It just proves I'm just that much hotter than you." Finishing off my cone, I got up and threw my napkin in the nearby trashcan.

"You have to be joking." he said.

"Nope, I'm not. Sorry."

Throwing the rest of his away, we began walking down the street again.

"Okay, you are." he said.

"Am what?" I asked. I already knew what he was saying.

"You're a hottie, compared to my great grandmum atleast."

"Oh, thanks." I said, laughing. Is that all he could do, make people laugh?

Basically.

* * *

Wow, after over a month I finally update. I hope you like it in some way or form. Review!


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

After about ten thousand eons, I finally update.

* * *

If I didn't have George to hang out with, I don't know what I would've done with all my spare time at Number Twelve Grimmauld place. I still hadn't heard anything about my parents or my aunt. This made me pretty pissed off. Why were they not telling me anything? I mean, I was kind of left with no explination to what had happened with them.

When George had to work at the shop however, I hung out by the stairs, watching people come and go. It was pretty cool, seeing all the different characters. One man, with a long gray beard and half moon spectacles, would come by quite often. I recognized him from those old Chocolate Frog cards I used to collect. Albus Dumbledore. I decided to ask George about it one day.

"Oh yeah." he said, as we were both sitting in his shop with his friend Lee and brother Fred. "He's the headmaster at Hogwarts. Great man he is."

"I think you have to be more than a headmaster to be on a card George." I told him, trying to figure out more about him.

"Well yeah Laurie." said Lee. "He's the only one that You-Know-Who feared. Him and Harry Potter that is."

"And I'm guessing Harry goes to Hogwarts, right?"

"Got that right." said Lee. "Harry has to be Dumbledore's favorite student."

Well, no wonder. The boy is probably the most famous young man in the Wizarding World, being the only one to survive _Avada Kedavra._

"Hey, Laurie, let's get out of here." George said, noticing the time. Spotting a group of twelve year old boys, he flicked his wand at the open sign, which now said closed.

"Sure." I said, grabbing my bag off the stairs I had been sitting on most of the day. You could say I was the shop's head guard. Just by sitting on the top landing, I could watch for theiving kids.

"Where to?" I asked.

"There's this pub we can go to. They make really good food." He said, opening the door for us.

"See you Lee, Fred." I shouted back to them.

I could've sworn I saw Fred and Lee making kissy faces at us in the door reflection.

------------------------------

I have to say, George knows what he's talking about when he says good food. I was expecting it to be like one of those fast food joints the Muggles always fuss about, but this place was actually nice. It was clean, and had a warm, homey feel to it, and the barmaid knew the Weasley twins fairly well.

"Oh god. I can't eat anymore." I said, finishing up my chicken and potatoes.

"You haven't even had dessert!" George exclaimed, throwing up his arms in mock surprise.

"Well, dessert or not, you'll have to pry open my mouth and shove it down my throat to get me to eat any more."

Scooping up some of my potatoes, he pushed the fork towards my mouth.

"Open up!" he said, laughing.

I shook my head, keeping my lips firmly closed. He was persistent however.

"Do you want me to come over there?" he asked, getting up out of his seat. As he walked over to my seat, I sprang up. Grabbing whatever money in my cloak, I threw it down on the table before running out of there.

As I swung open the door, I was greeted with a nice cool breeze from the darkening sky. Looking both left and right, I sprinted to the closest alleyway and hid behind a building, looking out for George.

Looking at the entrance to the pub, I was not able to spot George stepping out of it. And after what seemed to be a few minutes, he still didn't show. Deciding he was probably still in there, I began to walk out from behind the stone.

"BOO!" he yelled, grabbing my shoulders from behind and wrestling me back.

I shreiked, completely freaked out by the encounter. I mean, does anybody want to be scared in a dark alleyway? Probably not.

"George, bloody hell!" I said, leaning up against the wall. "You scared me to death!"

"Really?" he joked...again "I couldn't tell."

"George, I'm serious. Don't do stuff like that. It's dark, I was all alone..."

"Okay Laurie, I'm sorry." he said with sincere eyes. "I won't do it again. I shouldn't be doing it to anybody anyway, with all the stuff going on."

"Yeah."

Great response.

"We should be getting back anyway." he said. "Mum'll be worried about you. She's always like that, especially with Ginny and Hermionie."

He held out his hand to me, and I graciously took it, intertwining my fingers with his.

We walked back to the pub then, and with a quick trip by Floo, we got back to the house.

"Well, er." George said. "Sweet dreams."

I smiled at this.

"You too." I replied.

And with a stroke of his hand against my cheek, he slowly turned and proceeded back to the fireplace.

I could still feel the tingle on my cheek when I went to sleep.

* * *

Again, sorry for the uber long and rediculous wait. I don't think I'll be continuing most of my stories, but this one I probably will. As for that, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. A little romance, but not too much. I'm not one to have them making out first paragraph. If you have any suggestions, I am up for them. Remember : **REVIEW!**

-Katie


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